Top 8 Boys

This is the "do or die" week on idol as contestants fight for their place in the top 12. Ryan reminds us that there is much to accomplish in the short hour-long broadcast. In true Idol style, tonight’s offering comes with a fresh new Idol scandal. Votefortheworst.com revealed on their website today that David Hernandez had been employed over the last three years as a stripper at club that served mostly male clientele. Apparently he didn’t do any singing at this club, but he did perform all nude lap dances. According to the Associated Press, Idol has no immediate plans to remove him from the show. I can’t help but think that this could have a negative impact on the voters this evening. The theme was the 80’s and the guys came out with originality and plenty of fight, not just to sing the perfect song, but also to decipher Paula’s extremely long winded and exhausting critique’s. Have you noticed that since Paula’s hit record she thinks she has really important things to share? It makes me pine for the "color it up" days. The boy’s were asked before singing to share their most embarrassing moment. Let’s get started:

Luke Menard "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"

Luke’s most embarrassing moment was when he was 8 years old and his older sister dressed him as a ballerina, and took his picture. He comes out dancing, and although he is a darling man, the performance is very amateur and (I am channeling Simon here) cruise ship. He sings mostly on key, but it was way too corny for my taste. Randy thought it was pitchy and that he got ahead of the band. Paula started by saying that she choreographed for George Michael, and she approved of Luke’s wardrobe choice? Then she started rambling about all the things she loves about Luke and what he did with the arrangement. (Apparently she was daydreaming when Ryan explained that we only have an hour). An exasperated Simon asks her whether or not she liked the performance. Surprise! She loved it. Simon immediately takes the wind out of Luke’s sails by explaining that he is never going to make it in the top 12. Sorry. I know I sure can’t see him going on.

David Archuleta "Another Day in Paradise"

David’s embarrassing moment occurred in Honduras when he was singing for a fundraising event and his voice gave out. His mother had to come onto the stage and finish for him. Ryan asks David if he was still cold and needed to pee. David decides that this moment may top the other embarrassing one. What is up with some of Ryan’s questions this season? He begins the song while accompanying himself on the piano. It is tender and effortless and very professional, if not a little bit overly serious. Randy thought it was a different song choice for him and he liked it. Paula thought he was perfect in his couple of imperfect notes (?) and that she was glad he wasn’t perfect. She is really struggling to get her comments across and we, the viewers, are starting to squirm. Simon liked him better last week, and warns David not to pick such depressing songs. I wouldn’t say the song choices are depressing, but I would love to see him perform something a little more lighthearted. Ryan says that any song involving intimacy is depressing to Simon. David just wanted to call attention to the homelessness around the world. Let’s face it; he is far too talented and popular to have anything to worry about.

Danny Noriega "Tainted Love"

Danny’s BFF tripped him in front of his crush at the movie theatre and he turned red as a cute little tomato and it was TMTH. OMG. I will say that he looks great on camera, but his voice is not in the same league with the other singers. This song feels like it is in the wrong key, and he struggles with the lower notes. Randy loved the arrangement (Guess what Randy? The only difference between this arrangement and the original is that the original was sung in key). Paula says he is "the real deal", she loves his personality, but she thinks he should get rid of his purple streaks for next week and basically rambles in a painful way until Simon grabs the floor. Simon hated everything about it and thought it was horrible, to which Danny brushed off his shoulder and said "whatever". Based on talent, he is in the bottom two, and let’s face it, all this text talk and attiTUDE can’t continue.

David Hernandez "It’s All Coming Back to Me"

Personally I could have done without David’s embarrassing booger photo shoot story, and the detailed description of the booger. Not only is our alleged stripper allowed to perform, he comes out with a powerful song, even though he does not quite nail it. He has several great moments, but the imperfect ones leave me a little apathetic about the overall performance. If you have this episode saved on your DVR, you will have to listen after the last note of the song, as you can hear Simon saying something like "I’d like to see you strip to that". (I have to thank Nancy and Gene for the tip. I had to play it about 10 times and I am still not sure of the whole quote.) Randy thinks it was a good song choice but was pitchy. Paula, the queen of clichés this evening says you are "getting in a groove" and you are "finding your niche". She also tells him that since the first night he has really become a great performer. Simon says it wasn’t as good as last week, but he says he has 100% done enough to earn his place in the top 12. I don’t care how many naked lap dances he has performed, the guy has a great voice and I hope he stays around a while.

Michael Lee Johns "Don’t You (Forget About Me)"

Michael’s worst moment was when he was a mascot (a kangaroo-can’t you just see it?) for a rugby team and four angry fans beat the tar out of him in front of 20,000 fans. I am confused, do that many people actually watch rugby? Michael is definitely back and comes out with a smoldering vocal that is both charismatic and sexy. I just watched it a couple more times to be sure. Woo! What was I just saying? Randy said it was a great song choice and a great job. Paula says he is defining who he is and she loved the strength in his low range, and said that he is different and unique. Every time she starts talking my son puts a blanket over his head and says to let him know when it is over. Simon liked it but thinks he does better when he sings soul, but he still thinks that Michael will do very well in the competition.

David Cook "Hello"

After some guitar issues and a rearrangement in the line-up, David finally is on stage with his electric guitar. He shares that when he was young he was in a talent show and forgot the second verse to "Sandman" so he just stood on the stage like a statue. For this number he takes a romantic pop song and completely reinvents it. I think it is a great performance, and I am so impressed at his arrangement. Randy says it is an Emo version of a pop song and that it was HOT. Paula. Oh Paula. She says something about how she loves when he comes on stage and after an inarticulate verbal struggle, says he is a shining star. Simon tells David that he is very brave to change up a song like that and that he loved it. Simon also shares that he was just shopping at Whole Foods with Lionel Richie (Simon had carrots and Lionel had cereal) and he thinks Lionel would have loved what David did with his song. Is anyone else remembering the video with the big clay Lionel head and the blind artist at this moment?

Jason Castro "Hallelujah"

Jason has been working on his interview skills, but he has miles to go. His embarrassing moment was while tying his hair back on a dinner date and having one of his dred locks come off in his hand. Once we all survive the painful interview process this kid always delivers on stage. His vocals are close to perfect and his sincerity and presence sell the song. He honestly took my breath away and I would download this version on my ipod right now, if I could figure out how that works. Randy says he did a pretty good job of it. Paula says it sounded effortless and that he showed vulnerability, and that she loved his phrasing. Simon said it was absolutely brilliant and was one of his favorite performances. He also said Jason is getting better every week. This kid should go far, and hopefully he will get some image help next week when he makes it to the top 12.

Chikezie Eze "She’s All the Woman I Need"

Chikezie shares that he spent the first couple of weeks of high school accidentally using the woman’s restroom. He touches me with his appreciation of a well-cleaned bathroom. His vocal is pretty good, although it is really old fashioned. I loved him last week, and this week I am back to thinking he is a little forgettable. Randy thought he did a good job, and the last note surprised him. Paula said "he switched it up" and his vocals were great and she was proud of him. Simon said it was cabaret and that it was only okay in bits. Sorry. This was Simon’s big word of the night after every rude comment. "Sorry".

Paula sums up the night with two words- phenomenal. That exchange, my friends, about sums up Paula tonight.

I think that based on the vocals, Luke and Danny should go home on Thursday. It is hard to call how the press release about David Hernandez will affect Idol fans, and also if Chikezie can command popular votes after this last song choice. It will be another interesting Thursday night. As far as the kick off is concerned, last week I was 3 for 4, which makes me 5 for 8 so far. I sure didn’t see Alaina going home before Kady. All of the crying is exhausting, isn’t it? Tune in tomorrow for the girls….